Day 105 Rotten Kids and Questionable Broccoli

Today, I was so busy chasing runaways and teaching people to be good citizens, that I almost didn't have time to eat the decaying broccoli in the fridge at work. I managed to take a break in between scouring the streets for wayward children and catching another red handed, skipping school. As I dove into my bag of broccoli, I noticed that one piece was crusted with mud or...something. The bag claimed that said product was washed and ready to eat. I did not eat, I tossed it in the garbage, I just can't trust that what I saw was dirt and I'm a little paranoid, when it comes to food. It's just too bad that I ate half the bag earlier this week, without knowing of it's tainted nature.
For dinner, I'm having another homemade pizza, this one with mushrooms, onions, and pineapple, some potato salad, and a big icy glass of Pomegranate lemonade . I'm going to eat this while sitting in my overstuffed recliner, watching the newest episode of The Office. Tomorrow is the long awaited herb festival and I'm so excited, I will make a list of my strategy and what I plan to buy. Yes, you do need a strategy, otherwise, you will fall victim to the blue hairs, snatching plants from your hands and rolling over your feet with  their Hover Rounds. I will be prepared and I will come home bearing fruits, vegetables, and herbs...God save the garden, let's get ready to rumble.
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Day 57 Onion Tea And Other Circusy Concoctions

I fully believe that we have everything we need in nature to cure ourselves of illness and today, I have used a little bit of everything. The night before last, I began drinking green tea with raw ginger, when I felt the first tickle in my throat, last night, I upped the ante and added cayenne and garlic. Today, I have tripled the tea intake and am about to add onion juice, lemon, and honey to my already strange concoction. I'm actually feeling better than this morning and think that my cockamamie remedies are working. I felt good enough to go to the grocery store for fruit and actually bought the dreaded oranges, everyone knows I hate oranges, I hate the smell, the taste...the color, but for immunitys sake, I am going to maybe squeeze some juice into my tea, along with the other stuff. For dinner, I had blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and pomegranate juice. Have I left anything out? Could I possible add anything else to my veritable witch's brew of natural medicine? I intend to be completely cured by Monday morning, to prove that there is no need for NyQuil, or Theraflu, or whatever else Wal-green's sells in it's cold and flu section. Now I just have to figure out how to get enough juice out of the onion to cover the citrus smell, I think I would rather eat a beet.
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