Day 35 Black Market Omlettes

It's snowing again and things are getting a tad desperate in Tulsa, everyone is out of eggs. I don't mean that there are none in the fridge, I mean there are very few in the stores, people are jonesing for their scramble and I'm a little frightened! I hear rumors that bands of people are searching store to store on foot, searching for the elusive egg carton, without success. I thought ahead and bought two cartons last week, before the storm came. I have used my secret golden commodity for omelettes, cake, french toast, fried egg sandwiches, and today egg salad. I even made a scrambled egg for my dog as a treat, I know, I know I'm being wasteful with my stash. Maybe, but I would like to take a moment to honor the faithful egg, with it's selfless decision to forgo chickenhood, the egg has nourished billions in times of desperation and hunger. (Vegan readers, please avert your eyes). In times when funds are low, I often buy a carton of eggs for a mere 1.99 and instantly have 6-12 meals at the ready, that's like .06 a meal! I could spend 2.00 in the drive through and satisfy my hunger for an hour, or I could buy a carton of eggs and eat well for a couple of days. If I splurge on bread, beans, and cheese, well I have a veritable buffet of options to egg around with. So, back to the situation at hand, If things get dicey around here, I may have to barter what I have left, I would give up my eggs for a jar of olives, green, black, or purple, doesn't matter, come alone and we'll work out a deal. I may also consider trading for a snow shovel or a really nice scarf.
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Day 34 The Cake That Saved Me

Today, I woke up mad. I was mad at the snow, mad at my boss, mad at my dwindling bottle of shampoo, just upside down, rabid monkey angry. So, I strapped on my old lady, anti-slip, sneaker covers for ice travel and headed out in search of happiness. I made it to the little convenience store three parking lots over and was overjoyed to find them open for business. I felt like an orphan who finds her long lost parents, after years of eating gruel. The shelves didn't have much but I was enthralled by every single cellophane wrapped treasure. I nodded hello at my old friends in the soda isle and moved on, so much history, it was hard not to stop and catch up. As I weighed my options and corralled the temptations, I saw it, it was a plain yellow Betty Crocker cake mix, yellow happiness for 1.99! I looked at the required ingredients, oil, eggs, water, check, check, and check. I raced to the check out line, giddy at the thought of one more day of sustenance in my snow filled world. I handed the man my debit card...... sorry, he says, no purchases under 3.00 with a card. I stopped, I stared, please I whispered, I really need this cake! I fluttered my eyelashes, tried to look seductive in my mounds of snow garb. OK, he said, this time I'll do it, but next time....Yes, yes, thank you kind stranger, thank you. Like a raccoon with a tasty piece of garbage, I hurried home with my loot and set to work. The store was out of icing so I invented my own by mixing mocha latte coffee mix with butter and melting it into a chocolate glaze.  I also added a chopped up pear to the cake mix, the icing worked, the pear did not. All in all the cake was super delicious and just what I needed to cheer myself up, while waiting for rescue. Hopefully tomorrow I can go to a real grocery store for fruit and vegetables, maybe I won't catch the scurvy before then.
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Day 32 Lessons in Creative Blizzard Cuisine

The excitement of blizzard chili and coco can only go so far, when one is for shizzle stuck in the house behind giant snow drifts. I'm considering either eating a snowball or concocting some sort of new and original cookie. My options for said cookie include squash or collard greens. I'm pretty sure squash could be manipulated into something sweet but I'll have to make it up as I go along. I could use peanut butter but should probably save that for actual starvation, sure to come by Thursday or later this afternoon. Also on my radar, is my last Kashi bar, I'm thinking I could crumbled it up, mix it with butter and make a tiny pear cobbler....I'm creative that way. I also have a few grapes left, I could make jailhouse wine, but I'm pretty sure that involves fermenting the concoction in a toilet, so that's out.  If I could just use all of these items together in some sort of "end of time casserole" I think I could muster up enough energy to go outside and make a snow angel or shovel part of the sidewalk. OK, I'm out of ideas the blizzard has sapped my creative reserves, if the cookies turn out OK, I'll share the recipe, if not, we'll just pretend they were never mentioned and move on with our lives.
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Day 31 Time To Buy Some Bread and Hunker Down

It has happened, I have arrived at day 31 and appropriately, hell (some call it Oklahoma) is freezing over. Tonight, as I celebrate my month long accomplishment and anticipate the next 11 to come, I, along with about 30 other states are waiting for a humongous storm to attack us in the night. As I have stated before, I usually just assume that what I have in my kitchen will last for awhile, I didn't so much as buy a jar of peanut butter during Y2K. This frenzied panic is different, I thought that for this epic disaster, I would jump on the band wagon and find out what all this pre-storm food hording was all about. I pulled into the grocery store parking lot to find a single parking space, out on the back 40 and more activity than I've seen since Thanksgiving eve. Oddly, I witnessed dozens of elderly women, linked together, in small groups, holding each other up for the long trek across the completely dry parking lot. It  was as if they were waiting for the ice to spring up unannounced, beneath them. Inside was like the fall of Saigon, nervous parents, dragging  their children and people grabbing whatever they could carry on their backs and in their carts. I could only stare at the madness as I perused the string cheese display. I wondered what people were thinking as they loaded up on chickens and frozen pizzas, what would happen when the power went out? Shouldn't people be buying charcoal and bleach to purify water? What about canned foods, and shelf stable, items like Twinkies and tuna to outlast the Snowpocolyps? I was judicious and bought some bread, some canned vegetables, and some cheese, only tonight I used most of the vegetables to make chili and I've already eaten most of that....I may have to go out foraging for berries the birds have missed or turn to looting by tomorrow night. Here's hoping for enough power to blog and beans enough to keep the flies away.
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Day 19 Breadcrumbs in a Blizzard

So, it's supposed to snow tonight and I am super excited due to the fact that my agency will close, if all goes well. I am sorry to say that I am not one of those people who stocks up on prunes and bread, when the temperature begins to drop. I am instead going to ride out the blizzard, with the remains of my Christmas stocking, still piled on my kitchen table. My mom is a stocking junkie and usually goes for bulk instead of quality, when choosing gifts. These are also not regulation sized stockings, no, they must be able to accommodate something as small as a chap stick or as large as a crock pot and everything in between. So, sifting through the rubble that was my Christmas, I find several items that will sustain me, should the snow reach epic drifts against my front door. First I have.....a can of breadcrumbs, BREADCRUMBS IN MY CHRISTMAS STOCKING! Four economy sized packs of gum, like she went to Sam's Club and bought Trident in bulk, for a family of six. I also have a three pound bag of mints, some instant coffee, which looks like it may have been a sample from the mail, and a tub of coco powder. If things get rough, I could mix the breadcrumbs with snow, maybe make a primitive cornbread, barter the coffee and coco with other survivors, and chew the gum to keep warm. Obviously, the breadcrumbs can also be used to find my way home in the blizzard, should I become confused and hungry. I'm pretty creative, so I think I can stay alive for a few days, should the rice run out and the rescue squad be detained. Stay warm friends!http://www.fastfoodboycott.blogspot.com/