178 Eat Your Wheaties For Fists Of Fury

Uhhhhggg, first day back at work was thrilling as usual, I ate Key lime pie for lunch, narrowly dodged a chair being thrown, and endured several eventful meetings. Later, I'm having a smidge of my ghost chili salsa to release the endorphins and because I haven't had dinner yet, hopefully improving my day. Tonight would also be a good night for chocolate milk, mayhaps I will need to peruse my coupons and head down to the dry goods store for some Hershey's syrup. Tomorrow promises to be just as electric as today, with an extra element of danger, so I am going to have a big, fat, breakfast, with eggs, pancakes, hash browns, and cereal, maybe some Kool-aid for some extra sugar.
Gotta be quick on my feet, mentally alert, and ready for surprises. Does this even make sense? I thought not. The point is that I didn't eat breakfast this morning and I almost got hit with a chair, perhaps if I am more mindful of early morning nutrition, I could be more alert as to say a chair or a fist flying towards my face. Perhaps hash browns will add to my lightning quick reflexes and my catlike agility in dangerous situations. We should all eat breakfast with the expectation of self defense later in the day.
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Day 35 Black Market Omlettes

It's snowing again and things are getting a tad desperate in Tulsa, everyone is out of eggs. I don't mean that there are none in the fridge, I mean there are very few in the stores, people are jonesing for their scramble and I'm a little frightened! I hear rumors that bands of people are searching store to store on foot, searching for the elusive egg carton, without success. I thought ahead and bought two cartons last week, before the storm came. I have used my secret golden commodity for omelettes, cake, french toast, fried egg sandwiches, and today egg salad. I even made a scrambled egg for my dog as a treat, I know, I know I'm being wasteful with my stash. Maybe, but I would like to take a moment to honor the faithful egg, with it's selfless decision to forgo chickenhood, the egg has nourished billions in times of desperation and hunger. (Vegan readers, please avert your eyes). In times when funds are low, I often buy a carton of eggs for a mere 1.99 and instantly have 6-12 meals at the ready, that's like .06 a meal! I could spend 2.00 in the drive through and satisfy my hunger for an hour, or I could buy a carton of eggs and eat well for a couple of days. If I splurge on bread, beans, and cheese, well I have a veritable buffet of options to egg around with. So, back to the situation at hand, If things get dicey around here, I may have to barter what I have left, I would give up my eggs for a jar of olives, green, black, or purple, doesn't matter, come alone and we'll work out a deal. I may also consider trading for a snow shovel or a really nice scarf.
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Day 13 Where Is That Smell Coming From?

Today, faced with the task of spending my evening in the home of a client, I find none too clean, I decided to take control of my germ panic and schlepped off to the health food store. I went looking for Kava Kava, which is a herb for anxiety, turns out Kava Kava screws with your liver or something. The nice lady running the store, pointed me in the direction of something called Theanine Serene, Ya, I don't know either, I just bought it. I of course wasted no time in choking down two giant tablets and waited for the serenity to begin. It was only about 30 minutes before I stopped caring about roaches and head lice, smooth sailing, but soon I caught a whiff of....dentist office? Where the hell is that smell coming from, it's so strong, I think someone must be in the back seat, smoking a clove cigarette. Then I realize, it's me, it's coming from my skin, I smell all spicy, like a toothache pack....this will not do. I am home and a few hours past the initial pill popping, I still smell, I can't get rid of it, I may have to soak in lemon juice or vinegar? I don't know! On another note, I made the most perfect omelet ever, tonight, I am a smelly genius. http://www.fastfoodboycott.blogspot.com/